I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
