look no pants
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Say something about gay babies.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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