don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
