I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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