dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize