And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
