She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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