i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
