so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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