I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
