So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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