You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
