The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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