Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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