Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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