my vag is so smooth its legendary
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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