We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
