I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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