its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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