You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sorry about my life...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
