She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
this hospital has no fireball
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
