why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
