Already got asked if we're dating
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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