I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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