I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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