i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
