Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
