In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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