You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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