I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
