and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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