well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
