did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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