It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
