I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
