So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize