she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
ok first of all what the fuck
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
