so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
