No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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