Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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