all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
