he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize