I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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