my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
