Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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