Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
