Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
