If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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