We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
