i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
