hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
