question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
