similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
not ubering you a puppy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
