Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
