The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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