there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
