Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
