i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize