Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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