3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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