i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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