Betty ford says i'm here all night
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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