I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
