Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
how does that bad decision feel?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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